Trust - A Prologue !

Trust led to Black.
I had never wanted to post it.
But today I do.

Forgive me my Lord, for I have sinned.

--x--

0515hrs

The nail was safe and secure in the log of wood. The log of wood may have been dead, rotting, infested with termites, diseased with fungus but it was none the less a log of wood keeping the nail safe in its darkness and warmth.

But change is nature and nature is change.

we dont have the time
we dont have the time
the voices chanted
We dont have the time for a trial by fire.
We dont have time to burn the log and take the nail out of the ashes.

The nail was pulled out, denting its head, twisting its body. The nail was no good twisted and dented. It had to be fixed.

we dont have the time
we dont have the time
the voices chanted
We dont have the time for a trial by fire.
We dont have the time to melt the nail and forge it anew.

The hammer slips and hurts the owners hand.
Stupid nail
Hammer it harder

The nail is not straight enough.
Hold it down.
Hammer it harder.

The nail looks straight now. Hammer it into that new piece of wood.

Hammer it.
Hammer it.

The hammer slips and hurts the owners hand.
Stupid nail
Hammer it harder

The nail is not as sharp. Not as tough.
It bends.
Hold it down.
Hammer it harder.

There are just two choices. Simple choices.
Give up or give in.

No time to rest
No time to think
No time to feel

just act

everything thing else is a non productive action

--x--

Back

Torture will make a man say almost anything to make it stop.

I was screaming. The more I screamed. The worse it got. It did not stop.
It never ever did.
And then everything went black.

I woke up in my maggot. In my bed. It was warm inside. I took a breath. Warm air entered my nostrils, disappeared at the back of my throat and rushed into my lungs. Pushing against my ribs, amplifying the pain which had not left me since...
I did not know how this week had passed. I thought it was Thursday. I felt like Wednesday. My calendar said Friday. How did these days pass? I did not want to get out and face this day. A question like 'why' was irrelevant. It was black again. I did not know when I would be in the light again. Maybe sometime in the future, a tiny voice said. Maybe it was better black said another.

Being in the light was too confusing. Sometimes it was too bright and hurt your eyes. There were too many shadows. Always shifting, always confusing. It allowed you to see into the distance and offered too many expectations.

It was better black.

The world was even. The shadows never shifted. Your eyes only saw what you could see. There were no mirages. No horizons in the distance. No false expectations.

The trip outside was a valuable lesson.
I hope I heard learnt it well.

I hurt them too much.

xxx